Monday, August 17, 2009
The next thing that I can flashback from my life, when I was about 4 to 5 years old. That was before i went to the school, if i can remember. I love to watch tv..well, which kids doesnt love to watch tv actually. Most of the kids enjoy animation, surely. That include me ofcourse...I grab a pencil and start sketching on the wall. My mum was busy doing her housework at that time. So, i continue sketching. Just like those kids...sketching an airplane,car, family, trees and etc. The most adorable thing was, i draw standing..and my mum just snapped my pencil and scold me. She told me to draw on paper, not wall. But, when she find out that i was running out of it. She just continue to just nagged at me. I cant imagine how's my facial expression looks like...And yet... i still continue sketching after things are cool. But not on the wall this time. It was on the floor. Hahaha... I cover the drawing with my hands. My mum was such a busy lady with housework till today. So, the most hilarious thing was...when she's about to find out, in an instant..i try to erase those with my saliva. Suprisingly, it does work that way..but it's actually taking abit more time before i try to erase all. Then, she still scold me this time..but doesnt seems much. Cause she figure out that it can be erase by eraser as well. So, she ask me to clean it up after finished my sketch. So, i did clean that up. haha... I didnt have that thought of keeping those drawing..what i think of was...better not being scold by her. The next thing....... when my dad came back from work. He brought one stack of A4 plain paper and advise me to continue my sketches there...and that was my first set of drawing ever. Since then, i keep on sketch and sketch...and today..my ambition to be an artist, illustrator or animator. Is being full filled. I thank god for his gift...."Sometimes, curiousity does make you live longer..."
The more you grow up, the more responsibilities you'll face...Sometimes, the feeling of my mind stuck inside my brain couldnt be able to cure them. Previously, on last friday...i felt like a sharp knife had make a simple stabbed and stuck on my back-right corner of my head. It had happen before once in awhile, but I just take it easy...i'm sure it's not serious enough. If it does...i'm sure i'm gonna just drop down and faint in anytime soon. But so far, not much issue yet. My best buddy(Black), ask me to go check up if it does come in serious hand. I told him not to worry much, cause all this while..i've always listen to my body. I know when, and why... Atleast, it's getting better now.. I'm sure if my girlfriend gotta know about this, she'll be worry for awhile. My weight of life today seems to pile up with lots of responsibilities. Alot of work that i need to finish up according from those dateline. As an illustrator, i'm depending on my job to survive. Somehow, i thought i can manage to handle them, but at one point of time...i get stressed up.If you ask them (those who work in any entertainment line), i'm sure they gonna just agree with me. Some of them even sleep only for 4hours a day, how they do that...i dunno... I'm just more of the sleeping type. I only work when necessary...and only hit my target on right time. Well, as for now...i'm gonna miss doing that.. I have to handle my main project from my permanent job, making sure that my own comic project will work well, another 2 major project for my client, 1 minor project for my friends' business. Damn...so tough for me now. In another hand, what can i expect...just do what i can and cross my finger tightly. Hoping those will go smoothly. Thus, all this work that i have in my hand now, are as good as to finish them before this end year holiday. God....As the elders of the siblings, you know how big the responsibilities that you need to face..right? Unless you are such a lame and careless one la... My mum is facing her menopause recently, she's having abit hard time to control her feelings. Yes, i understand what she's going through now..eventhough, i'm just an ordinary man. As a son, i should be paying more attention on her feelings.. Well, to tell you the truth..i'm not a doctor ofcourse...but the i just understand the basic scientific of the menopause symptoms. Yeah..like...always feel uneasy with her own body, being more sensitive, being abit more moody, uncontrol behaviour and other minor character i need to take note from her.It gets more complicated when my father behaving so stubborn. The man with high ego,that's what i labelled him. So, sorry with my words..but i dont like people always think that they are right and always right. Here's the thing, my father work as a labourer...a contractor for house renovation and he always communicate with those low i.q people..like those bangla.. well, i should put as low i.q, but their communication when they talk are much more like a skipping some words thingy..you know wat i mean... So, the problem here is.. my father didnt take an inniciative to think what's best for him and his family. He want us to do proud of his family, but yet..he didnt actually take note or ask of what we are doing, how's our day, do we need his help and so on... How would you feel if your father being that way? Or.. do you ever think, how your child feels when you act that way eventhough you didnt notice much about yourself....?I dont wish to talk bad behind my father, but what's best for me..is to share this with you, so that we can take this as an example so as it wont effect to us and our future generation.I can still remember, there's few times i won a big competition for art and illustration. As you know, i'm more into graphic line/job. So, that particular period..whenever we met our relative..he always mention about me winning this and that...successful in this and that... but what he did good was... only give us money. Hey, i know i should atleast feel lucky enough for that...yah,i know that there's worst father out there..but then..atleast show us some concern.. show us your leadership. Not abusing your sense of leadership. What i can think about him here is...please...atleast, do more research and play your role to keep us happy or maybe..be neutral abit. However, i could not jump to conclusion of who he is... i need to find out more of what he thinks... but being an ego..is really not for me.My parents had decide to sell out our apartment and it's already being bought by this malay family. I'm kind of-going to miss that place so much. Too much good,bad and sweet memories that we have done there. Especially, my friends,the best shopping mall(Jurong point) in west singapore, best gym facilities, my best friend, the freshness of the air and the convinient of that area to live with. I understand that eventhough my family feel the same way as i do, we have no other choice...due to my other 2 siblings intend to continue their studies in overseas. One of them had already stayed in malaysia for further studies, and the other one is going to be..around july next year(2010). I have no issue on how small our future house gonna be...but the problem here is...while waiting for the other one to leave. So, for the whole 6 months of 2010..me and my brother gonna suffer sharing a room with girl. She is much worst than a girl...yeah..i shall say, another trouble monkey....Trust me...whoever gonna live with her, they'll be facing a heart attack of their own. Unless, if she change for her own good. Than that will be lucky enough... Just imagine, she can just ignore watever you say and continue doing her stuff. She always go out, didnt help my mum to clean up, cook and so on... even if she does, she'll do unwillingly with her long face. Whenever there's an activity outside, she'll be happy to go. Hey, i wont mind if there's a good activity that you can occupied it for your own benificial..but please...family comes first... she didnt even care to pick up our calls when she's outside. Her reason is.."oh,i'm in the meeting.." "oh,my handphone running out of batt..." "oh, my prepaid value running"....everytime, this reasons that we gonna hear..Thus, when at home..she can just happily use her handphone to chat over at night,with books infront of her...pretending that she was studying..oh! come on! I'm not deaf or blind or something... i can still observe ok... Fine, if you wanna study and not doing a housework..but please... i hate pretender... Dont act good if you are not... dont act nothing if you know that people around you dont like what you are doing... and you still keep doing it. Just dont make me slap you and you'll turn you head 360 alright...as i'm still cool now. With my family issue, i need to just find a way so that things will turn good in our future apartment. I just pray, hoping that all these wont affect my mums' feelings...and i pray that things will change for good.It feels great when my pc had finally work fine at home, but there's more things that i need to put up to go along with what i need for my freelance job. The system now are in tip-top condition...i just upgrade the ram and the hard drive space, change into better motherboard and the bios with good vga/graphic card..and yeah..i just purchase a new line for my internet as well. However, i need to get a new monitor screen...and another cash involve. Feel so...uuurrrgrgghh...when can i settle this up. Our hari raya puasa is coming up soon,in about 2 month from now. Damn..alot of money involve.. Hmm..maybe i should take it easy first for now.But the thing is.. i just cant! I have another pc need to settle with..yah..i just need to upgrade them for my brother,cause i'm sure he's gonna need that for his future nitec or diploma course. He'll be doing more videos and animation for that, and i just dont want my pc to crash with our work load. That's why i bought 2 pc... Well...i'll figure that out soon.."If you jump the gun, you might not know where the bullet gonna run to... maybe to you.."
Sunday, August 16, 2009
I remember the day when i was a baby. I witness most of the kampung (Village) life with my family, the hardship that we when through..encounting the rain droplets in my parents room. My mom was combing her hair and my dad was just came back from work. I was helpless, i'm very sure that i was few months old and the visual was still fresh in my mind now. Even my mom couldnt believe me when i told her i know how the surrounding looks like.
Well, i had prove her wrong... i told her that the enterance of the bedroom was on my left side and a small classical wardrobe with a mirror, where she comb her hair was located at the right side of mine. Somewhere behind her, where the rain droplets gets into our room. When my parents notice that our room were slowly occupied with little much water droplets, he went out to take a red pale and place it there. So that our room wont get wet and mess all over in our room. Then, i was blackout... cant really remember what's happening next..
There was another incident i can remember... i was crawling around in my living room that time.. I saw my mum was busy walking around in that house. Wondering what was she doing that good afternoon. I can still remember the fresh air of that kampung days. After awhile, the early afternoon are getting abit more darker. I craw and look up to the cloud. Observing how miracle that colour of the cloud could change from happy and shinny weather into a sad and scary one.
My mum was running after her clothes that she intend to dry up after washing them. But its not like what our generation can image, to compare my early days. Well, yeah.. just imagine that those days.. they actually hang up their clothes about 10 feet far from their house. Just to keep those clothes dry abit more faster. With two wooden poles standing straight from the ground branches wide up at the top and about 4 to 6 rows of the strong string attached from one point to the end. It's about 3 to 4 meters long with all those clothes on it. Well, i'm lucky enough to witness all those in my early stage.
If you think that all those stories are making up by myself and it's totally not possiblefor a little boy who cant speak very much or watsoever...i'm surely gonna deny that. Even i myself couldnt believe how i did that at the beginning,but i'm sure... only one thing that explains alot about me.
I'm just being an observant...
I love to think and relates all possiblities to guide my own world, my path. There's nothing possible in this world, only we have the power of a right choice to continue our life. Only we, have the will power to put our pride on our own journey. That is why, people always say"Live life only once"...So, take a good chance for that.. make a change for the better. Be truth to others. Defend the truth, so the evil shall fall. Walk tall, as if you had done proud to the world. Respect the world, the people around you..and as if, you deserve that respect in return. Pay more attention to those who needs you, not to the one who trying to fall you apart (eventhough you have to pay more attention to these guys, actually) .
But, watever it is... there's no greater human being in this earth. We are just sharing a place for living.. So, appreciate it. And be thankfull...
This.... is the beginning of a life of "7redthinker"...
Sharing with you the beauty and the hardship of my life......
