Monday, August 17, 2009
The more you grow up, the more responsibilities you'll face...Sometimes, the feeling of my mind stuck inside my brain couldnt be able to cure them. Previously, on last friday...i felt like a sharp knife had make a simple stabbed and stuck on my back-right corner of my head. It had happen before once in awhile, but I just take it easy...i'm sure it's not serious enough. If it does...i'm sure i'm gonna just drop down and faint in anytime soon. But so far, not much issue yet. My best buddy(Black), ask me to go check up if it does come in serious hand. I told him not to worry much, cause all this while..i've always listen to my body. I know when, and why... Atleast, it's getting better now.. I'm sure if my girlfriend gotta know about this, she'll be worry for awhile. My weight of life today seems to pile up with lots of responsibilities. Alot of work that i need to finish up according from those dateline. As an illustrator, i'm depending on my job to survive. Somehow, i thought i can manage to handle them, but at one point of time...i get stressed up.If you ask them (those who work in any entertainment line), i'm sure they gonna just agree with me. Some of them even sleep only for 4hours a day, how they do that...i dunno... I'm just more of the sleeping type. I only work when necessary...and only hit my target on right time. Well, as for now...i'm gonna miss doing that.. I have to handle my main project from my permanent job, making sure that my own comic project will work well, another 2 major project for my client, 1 minor project for my friends' business. Damn...so tough for me now. In another hand, what can i expect...just do what i can and cross my finger tightly. Hoping those will go smoothly. Thus, all this work that i have in my hand now, are as good as to finish them before this end year holiday. God....As the elders of the siblings, you know how big the responsibilities that you need to face..right? Unless you are such a lame and careless one la... My mum is facing her menopause recently, she's having abit hard time to control her feelings. Yes, i understand what she's going through now..eventhough, i'm just an ordinary man. As a son, i should be paying more attention on her feelings.. Well, to tell you the truth..i'm not a doctor ofcourse...but the i just understand the basic scientific of the menopause symptoms. Yeah..like...always feel uneasy with her own body, being more sensitive, being abit more moody, uncontrol behaviour and other minor character i need to take note from her.It gets more complicated when my father behaving so stubborn. The man with high ego,that's what i labelled him. So, sorry with my words..but i dont like people always think that they are right and always right. Here's the thing, my father work as a labourer...a contractor for house renovation and he always communicate with those low i.q people..like those bangla.. well, i should put as low i.q, but their communication when they talk are much more like a skipping some words thingy..you know wat i mean... So, the problem here is.. my father didnt take an inniciative to think what's best for him and his family. He want us to do proud of his family, but yet..he didnt actually take note or ask of what we are doing, how's our day, do we need his help and so on... How would you feel if your father being that way? Or.. do you ever think, how your child feels when you act that way eventhough you didnt notice much about yourself....?I dont wish to talk bad behind my father, but what's best for me..is to share this with you, so that we can take this as an example so as it wont effect to us and our future generation.I can still remember, there's few times i won a big competition for art and illustration. As you know, i'm more into graphic line/job. So, that particular period..whenever we met our relative..he always mention about me winning this and that...successful in this and that... but what he did good was... only give us money. Hey, i know i should atleast feel lucky enough for that...yah,i know that there's worst father out there..but then..atleast show us some concern.. show us your leadership. Not abusing your sense of leadership. What i can think about him here is...please...atleast, do more research and play your role to keep us happy or maybe..be neutral abit. However, i could not jump to conclusion of who he is... i need to find out more of what he thinks... but being an ego..is really not for me.My parents had decide to sell out our apartment and it's already being bought by this malay family. I'm kind of-going to miss that place so much. Too much good,bad and sweet memories that we have done there. Especially, my friends,the best shopping mall(Jurong point) in west singapore, best gym facilities, my best friend, the freshness of the air and the convinient of that area to live with. I understand that eventhough my family feel the same way as i do, we have no other choice...due to my other 2 siblings intend to continue their studies in overseas. One of them had already stayed in malaysia for further studies, and the other one is going to be..around july next year(2010). I have no issue on how small our future house gonna be...but the problem here is...while waiting for the other one to leave. So, for the whole 6 months of 2010..me and my brother gonna suffer sharing a room with girl. She is much worst than a girl...yeah..i shall say, another trouble monkey....Trust me...whoever gonna live with her, they'll be facing a heart attack of their own. Unless, if she change for her own good. Than that will be lucky enough... Just imagine, she can just ignore watever you say and continue doing her stuff. She always go out, didnt help my mum to clean up, cook and so on... even if she does, she'll do unwillingly with her long face. Whenever there's an activity outside, she'll be happy to go. Hey, i wont mind if there's a good activity that you can occupied it for your own benificial..but please...family comes first... she didnt even care to pick up our calls when she's outside. Her reason is.."oh,i'm in the meeting.." "oh,my handphone running out of batt..." "oh, my prepaid value running"....everytime, this reasons that we gonna hear..Thus, when at home..she can just happily use her handphone to chat over at night,with books infront of her...pretending that she was studying..oh! come on! I'm not deaf or blind or something... i can still observe ok... Fine, if you wanna study and not doing a housework..but please... i hate pretender... Dont act good if you are not... dont act nothing if you know that people around you dont like what you are doing... and you still keep doing it. Just dont make me slap you and you'll turn you head 360 alright...as i'm still cool now. With my family issue, i need to just find a way so that things will turn good in our future apartment. I just pray, hoping that all these wont affect my mums' feelings...and i pray that things will change for good.It feels great when my pc had finally work fine at home, but there's more things that i need to put up to go along with what i need for my freelance job. The system now are in tip-top condition...i just upgrade the ram and the hard drive space, change into better motherboard and the bios with good vga/graphic card..and yeah..i just purchase a new line for my internet as well. However, i need to get a new monitor screen...and another cash involve. Feel so...uuurrrgrgghh...when can i settle this up. Our hari raya puasa is coming up soon,in about 2 month from now. Damn..alot of money involve.. Hmm..maybe i should take it easy first for now.But the thing is.. i just cant! I have another pc need to settle with..yah..i just need to upgrade them for my brother,cause i'm sure he's gonna need that for his future nitec or diploma course. He'll be doing more videos and animation for that, and i just dont want my pc to crash with our work load. That's why i bought 2 pc... Well...i'll figure that out soon.."If you jump the gun, you might not know where the bullet gonna run to... maybe to you.."
